Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Losing my Blog-ginity

     So after countless weeks of intenseness at school and being kept busy with work, I think I might actually conceivably have time on my hands. Which brings me to blogging. I've been thinking about starting my own blog for a while because countless posts on FlaccidBook just get annoying to your buddies. Twatter is... Like blogging for ADHD kids. And making a fully fleshed out website with blogging/shop/forum/etc... Takes too much damn time.

I'm going to type just how I would talk (maybe a teence bit more eloquently) and write about all of my projects, journeys, and music I have found, but I'll try and keep it centered around my fishkeeping hobby. It'll be on a near stream of consciousness level, probably a tad more organized. Maybe I just want attention, maybe I just need a place to let my thoughts loose, maybe it's late and I'll forget about this in the morning.

A short bit about me:

To me, for a loooong time(stretching back even into the early days of kindergarten), life has been always a quiet battle against normality. Being different in my own special way. In elementary school, even with my good friends,  I felt like somewhat of a... not an outcast... a... drifter, maybe specter? Essentially a spirit that gets along with anyone, sees the inherent good and bad in situations and tries to shape its path to be a little bit of everything with specialties for what I enjoyed. Life. Biology. Camping. The tiny sea shells between grains of sand on the beach.

My life is weird in that it has been pretty darn normal, yet I am strange. To me, the strangeness in folks often comes from the strangeness in their lives. People are more interesting when they have stories for what made them interesting.

I just had me, being different in a world that I saw as grey. Not a sad grey, a boring grey.

I didn't have any stories.

That realization came around somewhere in the middle of eighth grade. But I didn't act on it until after my sophomore year of highschool. From then till the start of my first year at UC Santa Cruz, I really started to examine and expand on my differences, trying new things, finding part of myself in Steampunk culture, but even then, that missed the mark.

It was being pulled out of home, going UCSC that helped me see much more clearly what I wanted to be. Hell, it fucking cracked my skull open.

I just want to be me.
And being me, is doing what I enjoy and not letting my own damned self stop me.


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